Changing Viewpoints

At 5:05 pm today, I shut down and handed over my laptop, handed over my keys, picked up my last remaining bit of personal items, got into my car and drove out of the tight-fit of a parking garage for the last time. 

At 5:05 PM today, I officially traded this view:

For this view:

As I walk out of my office that I have worked so hard to earn, my mind is filled with “Eek!” That’s a very fancy way of saying I’m not exactly sure how I am feeling. My best guess, is it’s a good mixture of scared-to-death panic, excitement, and relief.

So, why am I leaving? The quickest answer is this: Have you ever looked around at your life and thought, “I am not supposed to be here.” Because for the past few months, that’s exactly what I’ve been thinking. And, when I take an audit of all the plates being juggled, this one seems the most logical to let drop.

Until I had Lillian, I viewed being anything but the best as failure. And, to tell the truth, I still somewhat do. As it turns out, it is very hard to be the very best manager (surrounded by an all-male management team—except for me, of course) and to be the very best mother for my child. Please do not read this to say that there are not women who can be the best at both. Just, in my current (or now, very recently past) environment, I do not possess such capabilities.

And, as much as I would have never admitted to you 10, 5 or even 1 year ago, the kid will always come first. So, with a lot (and, I mean A LOT) of faith, I am redefining what my environment looks like. 

I am stepping away from this job with 100 (or maybe 5) new entrepreneurial ideas that I want to try. Several may be epic failures, but hopefully, with my lifeblood poured into it, one will stick. Maybe I’ll even go on Shark Tank and trade part of a company over for a single day of Mark Cuban’s time. The last part is probably a stretch. 

I will be using this blog to post my adventures in entrepreneurial mommyhood. Success or failure, I want a diary of this “trial” period in my life. I mean, if it doesn’t work out, the corporate world will take me back, right? And, if not, there’s always another degree (just kidding!).